“It Is What It Is” — Every Time You Say This, You Grow Weaker
Do-nothing phrases like this do more harm than good
I first heard this saying, “It is what it is”, about four years ago, I think. At the time, I remember nodding and kind of agreeing. I translated in my head — oh yeah, that’s just the way things are.
But it nagged at me. It sounded defeatist, even then. A bit like — whatever, can’t change it. Then another part of me starting responding, also in my head. “No, darn it, it’s not what it is. It’s what you allow it to be.”
We give permission for life to suck far too often. We throw up our hands. What can I do about it? Nothing. So I’ll just shrug.
To me, this little saying grated more and more. It is what it is? Why? Why is it like that in the first place? Why can’t it change? Why can’t it be made better?
Often, too, I heard people say it when it was something bad that had happened to someone else. Not huge bad, like death, just bad as in “he lost his job” or “she had her purse stolen” or “their kids are in trouble again”.
No offer of help. Just a shrug. “It is what it is.”
These words started to really annoy me. Because very often they seemed to absolve the speaker of any need to express sympathy or help…
